


To Forget or Remember

by Um_Lol



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Elves, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Not Beta Read, Parent Death, Sad with a Happy Ending, Temporary Amnesia, nothing explicit but later on there is slight mention of rape and stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26913694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Um_Lol/pseuds/Um_Lol
Summary: She found herself alone, dark, and confused. She couldn’t remember anything. She felt trapped. Her ears twitched, and she heard it. She needed to get out. Now.One question echoed through her mind. Why couldn’t she remember anything?
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Elizabeth I of England, Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard, Anne Boleyn/Catherine of Aragon, Anne of Cleves/Katherine Howard, Catherine Parr/Jane Seymour, Catherine of Aragon & Katherine Howard
Comments: 22
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> :O i've finally written something properly for SIX yay! Anyways, hope y'all enjoy!

She woke up. She couldn’t see much, with only one window open peeking in some light. Where was she? She seemed to be in some sort of... _room?_ All she could see was cracked brick walls, and a wooden door. Where was she? More importantly, _who_ was she? Why couldn’t she remember anything? She didn’t have much time to worry, her ears twitched before hearing footsteps echoing where she was. Someone was coming. The echoing started to get louder and soon she realised that it wasn’t someone, but many people, all running. She noticed the door was ever so slightly ajar, probably from someone who couldn’t be bothered to lock it. She peaked through, making sure she didn’t make the door creak. Hopefully she wasn’t too obvious to whoever was out there.

Maybe this would help with all the questions she had? She didn’t know. Something about where she was felt off. She felt the need to get out of there, fast. She was stuck somewhere, and it certainly didn’t look like a friendly place. A few men rushed past her door, all yelling. Something about _Darien_ coming to attack? That didn’t sound good, and by the look of distress on the guards’ faces, she knew she was likely right. The moment she heard no more running, she stuck her out and look around, before bolting away. She had no idea where she was gonna go, but she ran in many different hallways. She saw some light.

Then she stopped. She heard something. Horses. She was in near the stables. They sounded familiar to her. It was strange, since she couldn’t recollect any moments she had with a horse. It was fuzzy in her mind, and it was probably the worst time for her to be thinking about that. This place wasn’t safe for her to stay. She got on one of the saddled horses, relishing in how familiar this all felt. Well, no time to wallow, she was at least a bit faster now. She left the place, and wasn’t sure where she was gonna go.

She looked behind herself one last time, just to see where she was, and got a shock at what she saw. It was a large looming castle, that intimidated anyone who got even in range of it. She rode off, and found a path, and followed it. Little did she know that was going to lead her to the town where she’d reside for a very long time.

It didn’t take very long until she reached a town, since the horse was quite quick. She’d felt unusual deja vu during the ride, but she brushed it off. It wasn’t that important, it must’ve been adrenaline. She got off her horse, and looked at the town she arrived at. This felt much nicer, much more welcoming. After all, she wasn’t stuck in a jail cell. She walked around the town, feeling really out of place, considering how everyone either had family or friends. She was alone. She might’ve had to sleep on the floor, if she couldn’t convince anyone to let her stay in, even if it was just a day. She leaned against a tree, not sure what to do.

“Hey!” Someone said loudly, giving her a fright.

She looked up and saw a hooded girl up in the tree above. What was she doing up there? She hopped down from the tree, making it look surprisingly easy. She swore she saw a slight hesitation before the girl spoke. Was she to trust her?

“You seem new here! I’m Anna. What about you?” she asked.

She... didn’t know her name. It was somewhere in her mind, but she couldn’t recall what her name was. She tried her best, but it wasn’t coming to her. She heard Anna mutter to herself, with a fearful look in her eye.

“Are you okay? You looked scared,” she asked.

Not. Yet. She doesn’t need to know yet.

“No, it’s nothing. Anyways, do you have anywhere to stay?” Anna asked.

She shook her head in response. She was shocked at she managed to stay so calm whilst talking to Anna, since she just escaped from a dangerous area. She should’ve been more cautious, but it was too late for her to complain, Anna had been a kind person, being so patient with a stranger.

“Hmm, okay, I have a few friends who you can stay for however long you want. That okay with you?” Anna offered.

She just didn’t want to sleep on the ground and freeze to death from all the gusts of wind. So she didn’t mind much.

“Okay,” She replied quietly.

Anna gave a small smile, before leading her the way, putting her hood back up. She followed behind her, going through the town. Why did she wear such a big hooded cloak? It was a dark red, almost looking like blood, and hid most of her body. She’s more surprised how she didn’t notice the small dagger was in a small pocket on her belt covered by her blood red cloak, but the light wind revealed it easier. She felt lucky she wasn’t stabbed by her, but luckily she was kind, and she likely kept a dagger for self defence. To her, it was out of the ordinary for someone to carry a weapon around...

They walked for a few minutes before arriving to where she’d rest for the night. The house was quite quaint and blended in with the rest of the houses nearby. Once the door opened, she saw two new faces. They looked friendly at least. The two women had a friendly warm feeling to them, almost like family. Weird how she compared two strangers to family, but that that wasn’t too important.

“Hey, Anna! What brings you over-” she said, before cutting off and staring at her, the newcomer.

She let out a small gasp, before giving an excited look to Anna. She seemed enthusiastic about meeting someone new. Anna gave a wary look at her. Wary? She’d get a weary look from having to deal with someone with so much energy, but the small glance over that Anna did suggested otherwise. She gave a confused look at Anna and the other woman, before the two of them started speaking again.

“I’m Anna, and I’m guessing you don’t currently have anywhere to stay? We always kept an extra bed, mostly for a few certain reasons, but mostly for people who need it!” Anne said, with lots of energy.

“And I’m Catherine, I also live with this chaotic elf, who I happen to... care a lot about.” Catherine said, muttering the last part quietly, for only one person to hear.

“Aww Lina! Stop being such a sweetheart hehe,” Anne said with a smug look on her face. “Anyways, come on in!”

She walked in, looking around, before sitting down. She noticed how many books there were, and what they were written in, it looked like she’d seen it before somewhere. She sat down near Anna, sitting around the small round table. Whilst Catherine was making something for them to eat, Anne started to ask a few small questions, trying not to seem too nosy.

“So, what’s your name?” Anne asked.

Again, one of the easiest questions yet she couldn’t come up with anything. She gave an apologetic look before telling her she didn’t know, that she didn’t remember anything.

“Oh, so you don’t know anything about yourself? Huh, interesting. Does your necklace mean anything?”

Necklace? She looked at her neck to see, and indeed there was a necklace there, with a letter K hanging from the metal. K... that had to do with her name! It felt all to familiar, the letter K.

“Um- It might have to do with my name, I think my name begins with K. I’m sorry I can’t give you a better answer,” She said.

“No, it’s perfectly fine! Take all the time you need love to remember who you are. We’ll always be willing to help you out,” Anne said, with a reassuring smile on her face.

She felt a bit better. Catherine came back with some a small meal. She ate, and explained where she was before she reached this town. Most of them had a concerned look on their faces. She knew she escaped from a bad place, but she didn’t know just how bad it was. She didn’t get to know much, the three of them seemingly wanting to avoid the topic.

“Well, anyways, you should get some rest, it’s getting dark out,” Catherine suggested.

She muttered a quiet okay in response, feeling slightly worn out. Rest sounded nice. She let out a small yawn, before following Catherine to where her bed was. She noticed that it was only Catherine, despite Anne being so happy about it. Maybe she needed time to her own, but it did seem a little off. Not that she worried about it that much, she could tell Anne wasn’t trying to deceive her. She could feel it, something inside her was telling her that.

She headed off to sleep, ready for whatever awaited her tomorrow.

* * *

~~**Remember. Please...** ~~

She woke up the next day feeling decent from all the rest she got. She got dressed in the clothes that they gave her, and looked outside. It was not a pretty day, but Anne told her that it was usual for it to look cloudy. It was looking to be a rainy day. Not much they could do, but stay inside until the rain stopped. Which, wasn’t happening any time soon, despite her continuously watching the window. It was constantly the same, battering rain on the stone path. She could especially hear it on the roof, pitter pattering quietly. She let out a quiet yawn.

She knew Catherine was at the church and that Anne was out doing stuff so she decided to take a proper look at the house. What she was more curious about were the books in the bookshelf. The all looked big and ancient, some being thin, and some being as big as bricks. She could somehow make out the language, even though she had never read anything like this. She took one of the books out, and took a small look through it. Magic? Spells? What did any of this mean-

Her ears twitched in surprised when she heard the door open. It was Anne. Was she going to be mad-

“Oh! You found one of my books, it’s written in Kalick which only elves can understand. I guess it’s not much of a surprise for you _Ki-_ ”

“What? How am I able to read it then?” she asked.

Anne gave a look of surprise, before she realised what she almost said. Anne gave a look of relief that she didn’t ask about it.

That was too close of a call Anne, you have to be more careful about what you say, she told herself.

“Oh? You don’t know yet? You’re an elf, you have pointy ears! It’s pretty obvious. But hey, I’m an elf as well,” Anne said, before showing her own pointy ears.

“Oh. I guess I never realised... anyways what is this book about? It looks really complicated.”

“Well, it is really complicated, it’s the kinda magic only very skilled people can handle,” She said. “If done wrong, it can go... very bad.”

“What kinda bad?”

It took her a while to come up with a response. She knew about what could happen first hand after all, yet telling her still seemed like such a challenge.

“Someone could die, kinda bad. But hey, you don’t have to worry about it, I doubt you really wanna do magic stuff haha,” Anne let out a laugh.

“Y-yea, sorry for taking one of your books out,” she apologised.

“No, it’s fine, really! It’s been a really boring day, and sometimes you can get a bit curious. You don’t have to apologise,” Anne said, before helping her put the book back in the right place.

She still didn’t know much about Anne, but she liked her company.

“Um, if it’s okay to ask, how did you two meet Anna?”

Anne took a few seconds to think of how to word her answer, before replying.

“We met through from _someone_ we knew,” Anne vaguely described.

She braced herself for more questions to be asked, but luckily that was enough to please her. Phew, she didn’t have any clue how to be more vague than that. She already almost let it slip, she didn’t need to tell her about him yet.

“Mm, okay Anne. I’m going to take a small nap, that okay?”

“Of course is it,” Anne said.

Anne went to her own room, and tidied up her table. It was filled with letters, from many people. She accidently knocked off one of the letters, went to go and pick it back up. She hesitated when she saw who it was from. It was a really old letter, lately she hadn’t been bothered to get rid of all the letters. She couldn’t help but stare at the name. She should’ve picked it up by now.

It was from her cousin. Who didn’t even... _nevermind._

She picked it up quietly, and went off to do something else. Now was not the time. She had better things to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She finally gets a tour of the town, from her new friend Anna. But things don’t turn out exactly as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TwT am sorry these updates are inconsistent but im gonna try twice a month at least- Anyways hope y'all enjoy!

The next day, it finally stopped raining, meaning she could finally explore the town, without getting completely soaked. She noticed the bright sun was out, and it was shining right through her window. Today felt like she could actually do something, instead of being stuck inside all day. Although, she did get to talk to Anne more, and learned that she was an elf, which was interesting. Anna was to show her around Mercia, since she knew how to move quickly and knew the land well. She learnt that Anna was a rogue, so it made sense she knew the land well.

She left the house and found Anna right outside. She let out a laugh.

“Look a lot different out here than it did yesterday huh!” Anna said, before running off. “Catch me if you can!”

“ _Hey!_ You’re supposed to be my guide!” she laughed, before chasing after her.

They ran to the forest that was near the town. She let out a few pants, before asking why she ran away from her.

“Heh, I just wanted to play around. Also, walking around the town is so boring. Climbing on the trees and looking down onto the town is much more fun! What do you think?”

She took a moment to think, before answering.

“Sure,” she said, with a small grin on her face.

Anna climbed up the tree slowly, looking down and making sure she was safe and didn’t fall down. The last thing she’d want to do is have her break her arm or injure her even worse than that. Anna was used to climbing trees, and other sorts of stuff, that was the way she escaped from him after all. Anna watched as she climbed the tree quick and nimble, almost like a small kitten. She found it sorta cute. What a surprise, Anna lied thought to herself. She got up there quite seamlessly, and from up above there were more trees, and they could see the small quaint town, Mercia, was below them.

Mercia wasn’t the biggest, it only had maybe 20 houses or so? Mercia wasn’t even the richest town. But all the people here were kind hearted, and always looked out for eachother when they really needed it. It was a small happy community, with everyone knowing eachother pretty well. The town had a large fountain at the middle, the fountain spraying out water. She also noticed the small amounts of moss at the bottom of it, speckling it in random spots. It looked nice, and sorta ancient, like it’d been there for some time. The fountain also had a... strange aura to it. It was probably just how ancient it looked.

There was a slight issue about Mercia, and the problem is heightened with how small the town is. Mercia was right beside Darien, which was currently an aggressive kingdom, wanting revenge for the king down south. Whoever he was, she didn’t know, all she knew was Darien was dangerous, and wasn’t hesitant to kill anyone in their path. The town had wrecks from trying to defend from Darien, and failing. You could see the arrows, still stuck in some of the roofs. It was always adviced to stay inside if there were any Darien soldiers nearby. Always stay inside. There used to be a lot more people bustling in Mercia, coming to trade and some living there. But that all changed.

Anna let out a chuckle when she realised that the small kitten had clutched onto her arm, scared to fall down. Anna made sure that she felt safe. That’s why she had the handle of her dagger lightly clutched in her hand, just in case someone were to come for them. She wouldn’t have been half surprised if an arrow were to fly over her head considering her history. But for now, things were safe for them.

It wasn’t until she heard horses clopping, she immediately cocked her head round to see if it was what she thought it was. She looked over to where the border between Darien. Her eyes widened. They were coming again, they needed to run, to get inside. Anna quickly made sure they both got down, before trying to get out of the forest. She got a glimpse at who was leading the invaders. Catherine Parr. She was lucky she didn’t have an arrow in her head, Parr was known for having great aim.

She was confused. She didn’t expect Anna to suddenly run. She hadn’t any clue what was going on, but she could see the fear in Anna’s eyes. She could sense it in the air, someone was here. And she wanted to tell Anna, but, it was already too late. They were cornered. Horses surrounded them. Parr had her bow aimed at them, giving the two of them a deathly stare. They didn’t let out a single breath, scared for what was about to happen.

“Well, if it isn’t Anna, huh, how interesting. The king’s been looking for you, for a long while,” Catherine said.

“Yeah? And what of it?” Anna asked, still scared that at any moment she was gonna get shot at. “You aren’t gonna send me to him are you-”

"Nah, I’m not gonna do that. I’m just here to send a message from Jane,” she said. “We both have the same enemy, why don’t we team up?”

“Never, all you wanna do is take over innocent towns, and rule over everything.”

Parr let the bow loosen, trying to seem more friendly. Maybe she’d been too threatening at first.

“Well well, now is that such a bad thing? After all, Jane is a great queen, knowing how to invade and take over, being beautiful and having a wonderful smile, and knowing how to do revenge-” Catherine went on, before getting cut off.

“Wait a second, what was that middle part?” Anna asked.

“ _Uhhh-_ IGNORE WHAT I SAID, anyways, I can, and will shoot you if you don’t join us,” she said, drawing her bow towards her.

How was she gonna get out of this? She couldn’t simply run for it, she would get shot to death, and there was no chance she could steal her bow. She wasn’t gonna surrender just yet, but, it looked barely escapable. Anna let out a few relaxed breaths, before trying to come up with a plan. She could see that Catherine had her bow, steady as ever. However, the small kitten, was shivering with fear from all the confrontation. There was more confusion rushing through her brain, all of it starting to pile and pile. Soon she wasn’t gonna be able to keep the mess in her head, she felt like she needed to do something. She couldn’t stand here whilst Anna was protecting her and going to get shot.

Catherine started drawing her bow back.

“ **...FIRE!** ” Catherine shouted, before releasing the arrow.

Anna braced herself for the hit. She suddenly felt the girl she was protecting underneath her cloak shove against her, and before she had a chance to object, a pink force field surrounded them. With the arrow, bouncing right off of it, and hitting the dirt. Catherine looked with shock, before letting a groan.

“That bastard can’t even get rid of her magic correctly, we need to go, we can’t compete-” Catherine said, about to get back on her horse.

“Get away from them,” Anne said sternly.

Parr gave a nervous glance over, before getting back on her horse, and leading the soldiers away, back to Darien. There was no way she was going to try to fight Anne Boleyn, she had magic, which was far more powerful than any sharp arrow could be. She’d rather play it safe, and leave. It did hurt a bit that she was gonna disappoint the queen...

Anne was relieved for the most part. She was glad that they were both safe.

Though, the one who saved Anna, the one who being congratulated said right after surprised everyone.

“Sorry,” she muttered out.

There was confusion going through Anna and Anne’s head when she said that. What did she have to be sorry for? She literally saved Anna and gave enough time for Anne to intervene. Maybe she didn’t realise what just happened?

“What are you talking about?” Anne asked, looking at how closed off the girl was.

“It’s fine, I’m just, surprised, is all,” she said.

They wouldn’t take her seriously so what was the point in trying?

They both accepted that, and that she probably went through a lot of shock from that moment. The magic might’ve made her head a bit funny. They smiled, and gave her a hug, before finding their way out of the forest, with her behind them.

Anne wanted to be happy, from the fact that the girl could do elven magic. But her worry started to grow. Why did she say sorry? There must’ve been a reason why! Especially with the way she crossed her arms, she looked closed... somewhere else in her head. Maybe she was overthinking this, but, it just didn’t make sense to her. She didn’t say anything yet, but, she wanted to keep a closer eye on her. Just incase, she was hiding something, behind a neutral facade.

Afterwards, once they arrived back home, Anne explained what happened. And during it, the girl remembered one of the names.

“Oh, I remember hearing guards say something about Jane... Did she do something bad?”

“She doesn’t care _who_ gets in her way, her only goal is to kill King Henry,” Anne said.

She just nodded, and understood why the attack had happened at that castle. Or at least she thought she understood, for the most part.

Anne had tried desperately to convince her cousin to not do what she was going to do, that it was a bad idea, and she was gonna regret it later on. She tried and tried, but each time Jane snapped back, with more frustration. Anne strongly believed taking revenge was a terrible idea, and was impossible to do, how was she to attack Henry with all his guards? She hated him, and knew Jane was angry, but it was insane to ever think she could take on the king.

“Hahaha! Well, someone has to be insane enough to take him down, right? If no one does it, I’m doing it,” Jane yelled.

“Jane, you don’t have to do this, please-”

“He literally said he didn’t need me anymore, and that all he wanted was a male heir. He fucking ridiculed me!” Jane snarled. “Why are you not letting me do this?”

“Y’know full well that he has the power to kill you, I don’t want you to die, how are you gonna get a big enough army to even stand against him?”

“Are you underestimating me? Heh, well, _typical._ Anywho, I’m leaving, and that’s finale,” Jane said, as she took out her sword. “If you tell anyone where I’ve gone, it won’t look good for you.”

Jane pointed her sword towards her neck, before making a gesture to her own neck that suggested she would get her head chopped off. Anne gulped, before surrendering and letting her cousin go. She felt horrible for not trying harder, but she could clearly see that Jane was already too far. Her cousin who was caring and kind natured was gone, and turned into a mad woman, one with her only intention being to get revenge.

Anne obviously didn’t tell her about how she let her go like that. After all, she’d only told Catalina what happened, and Anna didn’t know anything of the situation. And it was better for it to stick that way. She would get asked too many questions about why she didn’t do much, and that she didn’t like thinking about it. Her own cousin threatened to cut her head off, that wasn’t something she enjoyed to think about.

“Did you know Jane well? It seems like you know a lot about her...”

It was just a light hearted question, but it held a lot to Anne. She had lost both her cousins, and this was it.

“She was my cousin, and we hung out a lot, before she went missing,” Anne said.

She still felt bad when she went past the missing posters saying nothing. But she couldn’t say, she would get shunned and be considered a disgrace if she told anyone.

“Oh, that’s sad,” she mumbled, unsure of what to say to that.

An awkward silence filled the room.

“Well, it’s already dark out, this conversation must’ve lasted a while, sorry for boring you out,” Anne apologised, whilst looking out the window.

“No, it was fine, don’t worry,”

“Ah, okay, cool,” Anne replied. “Anyways, you need sleep, this is way too late for you to be up.”

And so she went up to her room and fell asleep.

Or at least she tried to, but if only it were so easy. But of course it wasn’t. She tossed and turned, but to no avail. There was only one thought that was repeating in her mind.

_Why did the nightmare have to be recurring?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:)
> 
> Tumblr: @um-l0l


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s sometimes that unusual feeling of familiarity that rushes to her. Yet she can never name it. Speaking of names, she makes a new discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (wth is the summary ndsnbcdj)
> 
> Sorry it's been a while since the last update, hope yall can forgive me :3 anyways enjoy the chapter!

With the week passing by, each and every night, she’d get the similar nightmare. She would visualise terrible, _horrendous_ things that would haunt her. She saw herself killing so many people using her magic. She would hear their screams and cries, before they eventually met their demise. She would be in a black void, with unidentifiable people, with magic seeping from her hands, making them scream. It terrified her. And there were other nightmares too, which, were more detailed scenes, that she never wanted to go in detail to. Mostly because she never know the details, but it gave her shivers, and sometimes kept her up at night. Who was he? Who was he and why did he want to hurt her?

There was always a faint murmur in the back of her head, some name being called out to her. She’d also see a dark figure alongside her helping her do the spells. She didn’t know who they were, but she couldn’t help but feel that she’d had met them already, somehow. The dark shadowy figure had pushed her away, leaving her.

She’d wake up with a cold sweat. She usually didn’t fall back asleep for an hour at least. Sometimes she’d look outside the window and look at the night sky. She’d let out a few shaky breaths, as she tried to not remember the nightmares. Maybe it wasn’t great that she didn’t get all her needed sleep, but it was better than experiencing that again. She couldn’t bare facing all of that again, the blood on her own hands would terrify her. She didn’t bother to tell anyone, it wasn’t all that important. After all, these nightmares didn’t mean anything, they were just silly nightmares, that were recurring. However she wasn’t quite sure about the recurring part, but it still wasn’t much of a concern. Just a lack of sleep, that’s all!

Her temptation to tell them about the nightmares grew when she saved everyone, but she then ignored it. It could’ve easily been just two days of her having the same nightmare, she thought. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened for another day? She had wished. But apparently she hadn’t wished hard enough because it continued for another week.

Anna had noticed how out of it she looked. She leaned against the tree looking like she could fall asleep at any minute.

“You look really tired, didn’t get much sleep last night?” Anna asked.

She wearily looked up at Anna.

“Do you ever just feel like you’ve forgotten about someone really important? Or that something’s in the back of your head that you can’t name?” she asked.

“Mmm, not really, no. Are you doing alright?”

“I just- I don’t really know,” she said, playing with her necklace.

“That’s alright, I’m sure the rest of the day will get better!”

She usually fiddled around with her necklace when she felt bored. But, she suddenly noticed something about the metal K attached to it. It had... engravings? On the back she could feel subtle engravings in the metal, and she peered to see what it was. Why were there engravings in the metal?

_K..._

_Katherine Howard_

Click. Her name finally clicked to her. Although, why was it on her necklace? She was happy, none the less, and did start to wonder why she was wearing the necklace. It was sorta unusual to her that she was wearing a necklace that had her first initial with her name engraved? It But when she did discover her name, she went over to tell Anna about it.

“See, told ya the rest of the day would get better!”

“I wonder why it has my name engraved...” Katherine asked.

“Y’know, Anne has a similar necklace to yours, you could ask her about it!”

Huh, Katherine could recall that Anne did have a necklace like hers... with a B on it. Huh, that’s interesting, she thought. She’d have to go ask her though, hopefully she didn’t bother her too much. She always had a weird feeling she was annoying everyone by continuously asking questions. Even though, she had lost her memory, she felt like it was bothersome, and a waste of time for them.

Katherine shivered from how the sudden wind gusted against her. Somehow the weather was always unpredictable, even if it seemed like a nice day. She let out a sigh, and stood up from the tree she was laying against.

“Hey Kit! If you’re feeling cold you can always go back in,” Anna said.

Kit’s ears perked up when she heard her use that nickname. She felt a strange euphoria? She felt softness with the nickname, even though no one has ever even used it on her. Or that she could remember, no one ever called her by a nickname. She enjoyed it a lot, she just couldn’t explain the feeling. Nevermind, she thought, she wasn’t going to remember.

“Oh, okay!” she said, before heading away from the forest and down the path back.

She glanced at the pink-orange sunset, the clouds almost taking over it and covering it. But you could still see light outlining the clouds. It was a pretty sight to look at. She could see the houses starting to appear as she walked further down. Kit looked behind herself one last time, something familiar about the exact scenery and path she walked on felt... like she was here before. Well obviously she had been up this path before quite a few times. She didn’t know what it was, but she swore she could almost sense a figure behind her. But when she did look back, there was nothing there. Why did she have to be like this? It was starting to frustrate her that she had all these issues.

She tried to relax herself, and entered Anne’s house. Anne was sitting there on the chair, her face buried in some book. Katherine knocked a few times on the door to get her attention.

“Hmm? Oh! You’re back!” Anne said, whilst standing up and walking towards her. “How come? It getting too cold for you?”

“Yeah... also, I wanted to ask you about, something,” Kit said.

“Oh okay, come and take a seat!” She said. “What is it about?”

“Uhhh, so, basically, umm... I found out my name because of my necklace and Anna said that you had a similar one, and that I could ask you about it,” She stammered.

It was a mouthful, and a lot for Anne to process, but she was quick to respond, like she always was. Quick with her wits, Anne was like that. Most of the time, at least...

“Oh, well done! Alright, I’ll explain what these necklaces are to you then,” Anne smiled.

She briefly explained to Kit what the necklaces were, going over why they were wearing them in the first place.

The Regalis was to be worn on upper class elves, to represent their family name. It’s a tradition done by elves for hundreds of years, and is continued. The necklace usually just has the first letter of the family name, however some have their own name engraved in the back of the letter. The Regalis had to be worn at all times.

Kit understood well what it was by now, however she did wonder about one part...

“Wait! Where are my parents? I mean, they’re upper class so it should be well known where they are,” Kit suddenly asked. “Do they want to see me?”

“Uhh, I’m actually not too sure haha, I’ve never really met up with the Howards that much,” Anne said. “Not after the _last_ time.” She mumbled quietly to herself.

Kit looked at her with a confused expression.

“Although I’m not really sure if it actually counts if I met them-” she continued muttering to herself before getting cut off.

“Anne what are you talking about?”

“Oh! Uh, nothing, it’s not important, it’s just now that I remember, my last meeting them didn’t go so well,” Anne remarked. “ _Hah._ ”

“That must’ve been unfortunate for you, huh?” Kit asked innocently, not knowing the full extent of what Anne was talking about.

“Y-yeah, it really was...”

“Okay then, see you later Anne!” Kit said, before going over to grab one of the books. “Thanks for explaining it to me.”

“You’re welcome, haha,” Anne said, before hastily going off do something.

She went into the other room to catch her breath, and Catherine confronts her.

“I saw the whole conversation, and I have to say I probably would’ve done way worse than you, love,” she laughed half heartedly, knowing how hard this was for Anne

Yeah, it was, difficult, to say the least trying to not tell Kit that the last meeting with her parents was at their grave and that Anne was holding her whilst she was crying.

Maybe to say it didn’t go so well was a _tad_ bit of an understatement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://um-l0l.tumblr.com)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Long time no see, Howard,”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Jane sat on her throne, tapping her index finger against the arm of her throne. How could they fail? That stupid town still had Anne to protect them, and apparently a newcomer according to Cathy. She was losing her patience with this town at this point, but that wasn’t gonna stop her.

She had been planning another attack on Mercia fairly soon, but not yet, since she still needed more info about the newcomer. She was curious, after all. Cathy had been all too vague about them, mostly since she was more worried about what Queen Jane would think. She was still in shock, so Jane thought it would be better to give her time, and some rest, since Cathy did the best she could. And she didn’t want to be too harsh on her like all her other lieutenants, she had some attachment to Cathy. She was more interested in taking over, than keeping all of her army alive, even if she was slightly attached. She asked Parr to describe them in as much detail as she could, to get some information about them beforehand.

“Well, the girl looked young, I guessed around 16-17, or at least around about that,” Parr stated. “She also had what looked like faded pink streaks in her hair, tied up in a high ponytail. That’s about all the info I have since I didn’t focus on the clothing she was wearing.”

Jane let out a chuckle, with Parr looking obliviously at her. Oh that was more than enough information for her to know. She knew exactly who she was, and she knew all her weaknesses, maybe better than Anne herself.

“May I ask what’s funny, Your Majesty?”

“Drop the formalities Cathy, I’ve told you this before, it’s fine to call me Jane,” She said lightheartedly. “And anyway, I just, know a little about who she is, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay then,” Parr nodded.

Catherine wasn’t too sure what she meant by that, to be fully honest. Jane was always very closed off, and she didn’t share a lot about herself. She wasn’t sure why, but she respected it. Cathy did wish sometimes for her Queen to be more trusting of her. Although, she understood why Jane found trust hard. But she still knew Jane’s boundaries, and didn’t surpass them. She respected her Queen’s privacy, unlike a certain man.

“You’re dismissed lieutenant Parr.”

Cathy left the room. Jane needed some time to think about her next move. She would have to split the two of them apart, somehow. It would be a real challenge for her army to fight against them. She let out a groan. This would be so much easier if she’d been as good as they were with her magic. But that was unfortunately not the case. However, she knew of one weakness between the pair, and that was with Katherine. She was young, naive, and so so easy to manipulate. She knew that from experience. All Jane needed to do was to capture her and... she could already see her plan forming. But putting her planning aside, she stood up from her throne and walked towards the balcony.

Jane sighed with content. She watched the sunset before her.

“Long time no see, _Howard,_ ” she smirked, before going back inside.

* * *

Katherine yawned and rubbed her eyes. She still was not managing to get more sleep, but she was trying. Though, that was unimportant, she still didn’t have much of a clue how she lost her memory. She felt like she was going nowhere with it, and maybe she won’t ever find out. She’d only get treated like a child, and not explained about it. She let out a sigh. That probably wasn’t going to be true, she hoped.

“Hey, is something wrong?” Anna asked. “You’re just staring out the window looking sad.”

Kit frowned. Was it a bad thing that she didn’t fully trust the people she recently met? There was something in the back of her telling her to not trust them. Why did Kit feel like this was familiar to her somehow? The voice in her head boomed. She couldn’t trust them. Her thoughts were starting to irritate her, with how sudden and false they were. But they just kept going.

“ _Kit?_ ”

Kit flinched in surprise, getting brought back into reality. Oh, she needed to respond.

“U-Um, I’m fine, I- uhhh...” she stammered.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it,” Anna comforted.

Anna approached her, about give her a hug, before hesitating. She didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by touching her, especially knowing that-

“Leave me alone! Wait- sorry, that sounds rude, doesn’t it?” Kit said without thinking. “I don’t really know why though.”

“That’s fine, I understand. And hey, do you want to to see something cool?”

Kit found it strange how casual she was about it. She’d just told her to leave her alone, and she wasn’t mad? She was a bit calmer now.

“But it’s going to get late, won’t they find out?” Kit asked, referring to Anne and Catherine.

“Mm, Anne’s out training and Catherine’s in church,” Anna said. “And even if they found out, I’m sure they won’t mind that much.”

“Huh, okay, let’s go then!”

The two of them left Kit’s room and walked out of the door. Kit looked up at the sky for a moment, seeing the moon against the blue sky. She saw behind her how the sky darkened, soon going to turn into night. The sun was still bright, and hadn’t set yet. She continued to follow Anna. What was she going to show her? Kit was intrigued, but she was also excited to find out.

Anna stopped at a bridge. She turned to the side, and leaned on the parapet of the bridge. She looked at the sunset, which was reflecting on the river. The sun was bright orange on the horizon, and the water splashed against some rocks in the river. It was pretty cool, Kit thought.

She looked over to Anna. A sad smile was on her face, making Kit feel bad. What could be making her sad? She wanted to give her some comfort, like Anna had done for her, but she wasn’t sure what to say.

“Are you okay?” Kit asked. “You look upset...”

Anna was silent for a moment, before answering. Kit felt really nervous by the silence between them. Maybe this was too personal for Kit to be asking about?

“It’s... I feel bad for something that happened in the past,” she replied. “I still feel like it’s my fault that it happened.”

Was she being too obvious?

“Oh, I’m sure whatever happened was out of your control. And you probably didn’t know it would happen, so it isn’t your fault,” Kit reassured.

Anna felt relief when she heard that response, knowing she hadn’t been too obvious about it. Although, the guilt was still strong within her. It had been too hard to say or explain to anyone, since it was so personal to her. She wanted to agree with what Kit said, and not blame herself more than she already had. But she couldn’t, not with how she could’ve prevented it from happening.

“Thank you, I’ll try to keep that in mind. It’s just... hard.”

“Um, you’re welcome I guess.”

Soon the sun became almost out of view, being behind the horizon. The sky became darker blue and the clouds were a dark grey. They waked back home, not wanting it to get too dark out and getting lost. They arrived back, and entered the house, with no one in the house yet. It seemed like neither Anne or Catherine had came back yet, which was pretty lucky with how late it was. Today must’ve been busy for the two of them, Kit thought.

“Well then, I’m heading to bed, so goodnight!” she said, before going upstairs to her room.

“Goodnight.”

Little did they know, that night was going to be a _disastrous_ one.

* * *

Anna sat by the table, tired from the day. She looked in her small bag of items stolen from the king, laughing to herself. Being a rogue had its benefits. And she didn’t feel a bit bad, not with how awful that dude was.

She knew Anne and Catherine were both asleep in their bedroom, since it was extremely late. It was almost midnight, yet she was still up. Anna was lucky that they let her stay here, to hide away from the many, many guards trying to find her for the king. She still couldn’t get out of blaming herself. But she was getting tired, and her thoughts were getting quieter, and quieter. She could fall asleep right then and there.

Anna flinched when she heard the sound of a window opening, almost like it was coming upstairs. Oh god, she needed to go upstairs, just incase. She was sure that they didn’t hear it, being asleep and all. She snuck upstairs, making sure to make each step silent. She was glad she didn’t step on any creaky floorboards, so she wasn’t making a racket. She went behind Kit’s door, listening for any voices, or sounds. She heard gusting wind behind the door, which only confirmed her suspicions. Kit never had her window open, not with how windy it is!

She tried to slowly open the door, praying that the door didn’t creak, and that the person didn’t notice the door opening. She looked through the crack of the door, and noticed a cloaked figure, walking towards Kit’s bed. Anna had her hand on her dagger, and swung the door open, startling the intruder.

“Who are you? What are you doing sneaking into this room?” Anna yelled at them, not caring about her volume.

Their eyes widened. She could tell panic was running through them, not expecting this confrontation. They looked at the sharp dagger that Anna threatened them with. Anna saw their grey eyes looking over to the window. She was sure she’d seen those eyes somewhere before, but she didn’t think too much about it. Wait, they were going to escape out of the window. Anna sprinted, but they had already clambered through the window, and were on a horse. When was there a horse outside the house? Anna was in shock, and the intruder quickly galloped away. There was no chance she could chase them, it was the middle of the night and she couldn’t even see where their horse went.

She put her dagger away, not needing it anymore. She felt relief wash over her, knowing that Kit was safe. Kit was somehow still sound asleep, not getting woken up by any of her shouting. Anna closed the window gently, the wind making the room chilly. Making quiet steps, she made her way out of Kit’s room without a sound. She closed the door behind her and went back downstairs.

She let out a sigh. That was a lot more of an eventful night than she had anticipated. What was that person doing? What were they going to do to Kit? Shuddering at the thought of them doing _that_ to Kit. Hopefully, they weren’t that sort of person, but who knows. She could spend all night thinking, but right now, she needed rest, lots of rest. She’d tell Anne about this in the morning, since it was definitely important for her to know. And maybe she’d know who they were, not that Anna could see much, other than their eyes.

_Where had she seen those eyes from?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: @um-l0l
> 
> edit: shit i forgot to add italics to a certain bit dammit XD (it's in the last paragraph-)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was it always her fault?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a bit, anyways hope you enjoy the chapter as always! (tw death scene)

Anna quickly told Anne about what happened that night as soon as possible. She didn’t want to keep it a secret, especially not to Anne. It was already hard for Anne not to worry about Kit, and hiding it from her definitely wouldn’t help. So, she told her everything about the night, and about the intruder. Sure, they probably wouldn’t find out who they were, not from just their eyes, but it could help them later. What she didn’t expect was for Anne to know who they were just from their eyes. How would she even know?

“It’s Jane, there’s no other explanation to it other than her trying to get us to surrender,” Anne said, knowing her cousin extremely well.

Anna wanted to be cautious, and trusted Anne with a hint of doubt. “But what if it isn’t?”

“What kinda horse was it that they ran away with?”

“From what I remember, a black horse that was really fast, they were already way gone before I could see where they went.”

“Yup, it’s Jane, she has a black horse that was stupid fast, and she for some reason named the horse Secret,” Anne recalled. “I don’t remember why she named it that, but Jane has her ways.”

“Ah, so it’s safe to assume it’s Jane then?”

“I’m sure of it.”

And they ended that conversation there, nothing more needed to be said. Anne did wonder how they were going to make sure Jane wasn’t going to make it past the window this time. She’d need to take down the whole window, even with the nice view it showed. Realising she’d need to go into her room, she let out a sigh. She wasn’t going to let petty reasons get in the way of protecting Kit. It wasn’t going to be hard, she just didn’t need to look around in the room. That was all. That was all she had to do.

She gently opened the door, and went to work taking it apart. This was going to take a while...

She finished cleaning up the wall, now the window being gone. It had taken a while, but she managed to power through it. She turned around, about to head back in the room, but looked around for a dew seconds. And that was a mistake. The room was really nice, almost fit for a princess. She froze in place, realising her own thoughts, and unwanted memories started to pop back in her head. They were taunting her, trying to see how much longer it would before she’d break into useless little pieces.

“No no no, stop please” she talked to herself in distress. “ _Not again!_ ”

Shutting her eyes tight, she tried to drive her thoughts somewhere else. Anywhere else. She didn’t want to remember it again. She never wanted to think about it again. It wasn’t her intention to do that, she didn’t mean to. Holding a Regalis that wasn’t hers, she admired its beauty. If only Anne could see her wear it. She held it close to her, not letting go. There was a reason why she was never, ever entered this room. She could practically feel her presence here, watching her. Whispering apologies over and over was no use, but Anne wished she was her to hear her, maybe to give her any comfort. But nothing came, it was just her, alone. It was still the evening, with no one around other than herself. Fully alone, in her head, going insane. Asking for comfort would be useless, not that she even deserved any. What was the point, if she couldn’t even save her own daughter? The moment would sometimes flash in her mind. She let out a shaky breath, her mind drifting back to a few years ago. The year where she still had her daughter alive, and well.

That day, Anne had to teach Liz since Henry Percy, Liz’s tudor, wasn’t able to make it, the king wanted to see him. Not much of a bother to her, she knew how to teach magic pretty well, she practically knew it like the back of her hand. “ **Henry** ” had given her a small note of what to teach her, and she vaguely looked at the Kalick written on it. It looked like a normal fire spell, so she didn’t think much about it. Fire was always pretty easy to cast, for _most_ people at least. Her stupid recklessness took over her, being her biggest mistake. But they continued, as normal.

She had Liz do half of the spell, whilst she did the other, Liz being completely naive to what would happen next. Anne looked at her beautiful daughter, and saw her smile one last time, before she casted it. There were so many opportunities for her to notice, why didn’t she notice? She glanced over before she saw her daughter’s demise. She saw the spell cast, it was working as it should have. A red glow appeared, and she expected a small flame to appear. That wasn’t what she got.

Panic starts to rush to her when she senses dark evil magic nearby, her being unsure where it could be coming from. It was only then when she realised. But it was already too late. She looked over to Elizabeth and let out a gasp. Blood, lots of blood. All over her stomach, and she could see that her daughter was crying out in pain and agony. It was a cursing spell. She looked in horror as she realises it had already had Liz, and she’d be dead. And there was nothing she could do but watch helplessly.

“NO! Why- Oh god- Liz no please, please stay alive,” Anne begged, tears forming in her eyes as she watched her bleed out. “Please...”

“ _Mama..._ ” she muttered, before letting out her last breath.

The spell finally ended and all she could do was stare at the little corpse that laid on the ground. She did this to her. She could’ve done something about it. The chance was there for her to check, and she didn’t. Why didn’t she do anything? Was there something she missed? Who did this to her?

She couldn’t even do this right. She was useless, pointless. It was her fault. She repetitively told herself it was her fault. And it was, she caused all this pain to her. So much suffering, that she could’ve stopped. She held her dead daughter’s body and let out a loud cry. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want any of this for her. She... was dead because of her.

“Anne? What happened?” Catherine asked.

She was gonna blame her. She wouldn’t listen to her explanations, it was clear that it was Anne’s fault. Her thoughts weren’t coherent, but she couldn’t think up of any answer. Nothing would make up for this, Catherine would hate her and never want to face her again. It sounded very extreme in her head, but, so much had just happened at once. Everything didn’t make sense.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I didn’t want this to happen,” Anne let out a sob.

“Oh Anne, it’ll be okay, c’mere,” she said, before hugging Anne.

She didn’t know what happened, but simply from Anne’s cries, she knew there wasn’t evil intent there. Anne wouldn’t have ever done anything like this to her little princess. Someone else had done it. For the time being, she just wanted to get Anne to relax, even just a little bit. She knew she was still going to be sad over her death, it was inevitable, but she wanted her to be able to breathe normally. Anne had been hyperventilating and crying so much, Catherine hated seeing her sad like this. But, she didn’t let her stop, knowing it would be better for her to let it out. And then they could sort out what caused this tragedy in the first place.

They sat there, maybe for hours, or maybe it had been minutes. Anne didn’t remember what it was like back then, having blocked it out of her head so much. Although, she did still remember who she first accused. Which, now that she looked back on it, it was not a smart accusation, but she just, wasn’t in the right headspace. Her daughter had just died, so logic was thrown out the window. Henry Percy unfortunately was put to blame for this, even though it was very clear he had no benefit from killing Anne’s daughter. But, who else could it have been? Well, luckily Catherine quickly figured it out. Handwriting was easy to read, and she could tell this wasn’t Percy’s, having seen his writing a few times. It looked... familiar, for certain reasons.

To say the least, it looked a certain ex husband’s writing, that they may or may not have both shared. She was fuming, but she knew Anne would probably be even more angry than she was. That man was an absolute prick. Catherine knew how illiterate that man was, and seeing this only proved it further. How come even after their divorce, his writing still looked awful as ever. Obviously, she told Anne about the mistake she made, and then she felt extremely bad about assuming. But now her desire to murder Henry had only increased even further, but she didn’t act on it, she knew it was an unfair match. He had a full on army, whilst she only had herself.

She breathed in and out, wiping away the tears that were still in her eyes. Was she still to blame? She didn’t know. Even after all those years, she couldn’t see how it _wasn’t_ her fault. She left the room, still feeling distraught. How come she still couldn’t stop blaming herself for things out of her control?

Or was it because she always took responsibility for everything? Maybe.

_Maybe Jane was right about her being a pushover..._

But she wasn’t, she was _insane_ was what she was. Power hungry and insane. She was only saying that to her since Jane viewed her as weak, compared to herself. But Anne knew better than to have those sort of ideals. She wasn’t weak. She was sure of that.

Because unlike her cousin, she doesn’t run away from everyone and start an empire just out of spite for someone. Anne rolled her eyes when she thought about it. Jane wasn’t the same person anymore, but she still missed her. A lot.

It was her decision, and she took it. Should have she have done more to try to make her stop? Was there anything she did wrong in the past? Did she cause Jane to snap?

_No._

The situation had been hopeless, and it still was, so she stopped thinking about it. Residing in the past did no good for her.

And besides, she doubted that Jane cared about her anymore. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if she ever did.

But, she put a smile on her face, and acted as though nothing happened. They were all impressed at how well Anne made it look like there was a never a window in the first place. Anne did appreciate the praise she got, but brushed it off, knowing it wasn’t all that special. She noticed how Catherine gave her worried glances every so often, being able to read Anne so easily. Did that make her predictable to others? How did she do it, Anne wondered. Maybe she just knew Anne really well, and could tell she was upset by something.

If she was so easy to read, how come no one noticed the blank smile she gave? No one ever did...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also lil note: this might be a bit longer than planned, but i do have an ending and stuff planned :p
> 
> tumblr: @um-l0l


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past can be good in certain ways, but sometimes, it’s better if you don’t remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter! As always, still hope you enjoy! (tw trauma and implied abuse but it's mostly in the background)

Jane was about to lose her patience with all of this. How was she meant to know that was going to happen? Nowhere in her plan had she anticipated _that!_ And now her chances of manipulating Kit to her side was beyond impossible, since she couldn’t talk to her. That would’ve been such a simple plan, but it obviously failed in the end. She let out a sigh, frustrated at how attempt after attempt, nothing worked. What was with her ideas that made them fail? If only Anne wasn’t so self obsessed with showing off her magic, maybe she’d have an easier time. Although, she realised it wasn’t that much of Anne’s fault that she wasn’t that strong in that magic. It was that Jane was really unlucky, but she didn’t need to rely on that luck to win. She could handle on her own perfectly fine.

She wanted to yell her frustrations out, knowing that she should just stop trying to take over Mercia, considering how many times she failed. But she didn’t want to give up yet. Most would think she was being rash for trying again and again, but she needed to prove Anne and Henry a point. She was fine on her own, and she needed to show that to them.

Call her insane, but she wanted to do it, and she knew what she got herself into. And look where she was now. With more power than ever, and she didn’t even need magic. All she needed was good use of her words, and intimidation, of course. It was simple, really. She never knew why Anne held her back so much, even before she went ‘missing’, she’d always felt overly protected by her. When she was younger and bullied sometimes, she was fine with being protected. Back then, there wasn’t much she could do to defend herself, so she let Anne do whatever she could. And there was always a voice in her head, shouting at her just to do it on her own, even though it would’ve been an unfair match. But as time went on, she grew annoyed at it. Jane found it satisfying to do it on her own, and get whatever revenge she needed to do. Anne wasn’t all that much about petty revenge, but that was besides the point. She really wished that Anne would understand that she wanted to fight on her own. Jane didn’t want to see her use her magic over and over, when she could do it on her own.

Jane looked around her castle, from her throne. To some other rulers, it was considered small compared to their huge castle that loomed above everyone. But considering how little she had, and how few builders, she could live with it. She was a bit taken aback when she noticed the number of people who betrayed Henry’s back for her, and helped her out instead of him. It really did show who’s the better ruler out of the two of them, didn’t it?

And yet Anne said it was impossible, she chuckled. If it was so impossible then how was she still here? How did she instill fear into other kingdoms? Too bad she couldn’t personally ask that to her, but she knew if she did, it wouldn’t turn out that well. Jane wasn’t sure if Anne would even want to talk to her, with all their past history. Why couldn’t she understand that she wanted to do this, and she always acted like Jane was in the wrong somehow. But, was she?

To her, the answer to that was no, but maybe that was just her. Her morals were questioned quite often, for some reason. She didn’t know why, all she wanted was power, yet she got called selfish. Well, she didn’t just care about power, she cared for others... occasionally. She sighed. There wasn’t any need for her to stress about it, it would all work out in her favour eventually. Eventually, she would convince them.

Now where was she? Right, another plan, once again. She let out a sigh. A lot of work for her to do, all by herself.

Back then, there were simpler times, where things were easier. More light-hearted. For the most part, that is...

* * *

Anne watched as Jane practised holding her sword, slashing it against the grass. The 12 year old thought it was so cool, because she couldn’t even think about holding a sword, let alone fighting with it. She even thought it was cooler than her own magic sometimes, with how many boring books she had to read. Although her magic was still pretty fun when she got the hang of it.

“Seeing you fight with you’re sword is so cool!”

“Really?” Jane asked, putting her sword down.

It was a genuine question, she couldn’t really see how it could be considered ‘cool’ to Anne. Especially since she found magic so much better, more practical. Besides, the only reason she practised sword fighting was because she wasn’t capable of doing much magic. It was almost impossible for her to do any spells, so her sword was all she had. And even with that, she still had a hard time perfecting it, but maybe her standards were just too high for herself. She wasn’t going make her parents think she was a disappointment, so she had to train hard. To at least be worth something to them.

“Yeah! I mean, you get to stab people sometimes, so there’s that.”

“Hah, that’s not the only thing I do Anne, but I guess it’s sorta cool,” Jane replied. “ _Maybe._ ”

“What do you mean maybe? It is cool!” Anne said, noticing what her younger cousin mumbled to herself. Jane was probably just a little self conscious, so she didn’t see it as anything strange. But she didn’t like seeing her put herself down, especially from what she’d heard Jane’s parents muttering about. Anne just wanted to see her be confident and proud, and not bother catering to what they wanted.

“Yeah, thanks, I guess,” she said, sighing.

Anne suddenly felt a few raindrops hit her head, making her look up, seeing the grey sky.

“Oh, it’s starting to rain. Wanna race me back home?” Anne asked, laughing whilst she covered her head.

“Sure!” she smiled, putting her sword in her sheath, which was on her back.

They ran, making their best effort not to slip on any rocks as they headed back home.

* * *

Kit vaguely hummed to herself, as she rode her horse out in the city. It was a quiet, lazy morning, with not many people around. She’d always felt pretty safe simply idly walking/riding her horse around in Mercia, there wasn’t ever anyone threatening to her. Which was convenient for moments when she wanted to be alone in her mind. Sure, she could bring Anna with her, but she didn’t feel like it. Obviously, there was nothing against her, Kit just found it nice to do this on her own. She didn’t need to worry about anything stressful that was happening. It was peaceful, for just a moment.

Kit didn’t need to focus on what happened that other night, she was in the present. And that was all that mattered. Sure, she was a bit anxious about what Jane was doing, and none of them explained it to her, making her feel like a child. But other than that, she was fine. Maybe also somewhat concerned.

For the meantime, she didn’t want to face what happened, since it was completely out of her control. And she was (for once) asleep during whatever happened. All she knew was that she now didn’t have a window anymore. Which she missed slightly, but she knew it was for her wellbeing. She was safer now, and that was better, wasn’t it? She was safe and fine. For the time being.

Her horse continued to go wherever she wanted it to, without hesitation. Why did listen to her? It wasn’t all that unusual, but... familiar. Probably too familiar. But she didn’t question it. She was still comfortable and content, and rode on, heading towards the centre of town.

The wind blew against her hair, making her shiver. It wasn’t too cold, since the sun was still out, and shone on her. Unlike the rain which would pour against the roof, today was actually decent weather. Which made it easy to get out, instead of staying stuck inside, only hearing the rain dropping outside. Reaching the centre of town, she saw the same old fountain spewing out water from the top. The water glistened, and Kit could briefly see her reflection through the flowing water, flinching when she saw it. She never took notice of how she looked. Although, she turned away quickly. She didn’t know why, but it felt wrong when she looked at herself. She gulped, before riding away from the fountain.

Was her appearance really that much of an issue?

 _No_... it was something else, something she couldn’t name, but she could tell it was something big. It was as though there was a bad memory, locked in the back of her head. She really didn’t know what it could be, but all she knew was it gave her a bad feeling. A really bad feeling. Almost like someone was watching her.

She found it difficult to shake off that feeling, but she managed, with a few deep breaths. A bit shaken up from that, but she was going to be okay. That was at least what she told herself.

Kit found the rest of her day went as well as it could’ve. That should have been a good thing, right? She wished she could say that, all that was in the back of her mind was the feeling she had. The feeling, frightened her more than anything. And she didn’t even have any reasoning for it. Yet.

She was scared to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: @um-l0l

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @um-l0l
> 
> Plz follow my tumblr i post somewhat cool stuff on there-


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